Freedom through Dependence

Rife under the 'Blue Moon' today-  Guess I don't get to do that again until 2015?!  :)

Good chance of getting an extra punch from treatment though- or a triple whammy; full moon + one new frequency + changed up order of those I am already doing.  Yep- got my herx-helping tools ready, and the family warned!  :)


So, I was praying through the Rife treatment, and then had the blessing of sitting out on the front porch to do my devotions.  Nice breeze, sunshine, blue sky, green grass (we are fortunate to have had a little rain here), watching the animals, listening to the nature singing.. Thankful to have the moment to breath in the life around me...while the Breath of Life spoke to my heart, mind and soul~


The LORD continues to impress into me, my dependence on Him.  This is not new- but in His lovingkindness, He continues to bring me into an ever deepenly awareness of my need for Him, my dependence on Him- for everything!


I was contemplating how this wars with my independent-driven flesh.  I am not talking about the type of indepence that is of great value socially in our country- this is indeed important to our society fabric, and spurs many good things.

The flesh kind of independence is actually driven by Pride.  Oh yes, Pride likes to always be in the driver's seat, with control over all the 'controls' and direction.....I first need to recognize Pride, remove Pride...and invite the LORD to be in the driver's seat!   A cool thing is that, I don't even have to sweep off the seat or get the whole thing cleaned up before He'll settle gently into the spot! 

He is so gracious and full of mercy- He is lovingkindness. And the more I know these aspects of His being- the more easy it is for me to set Pride out, and invite/allow the LORD in.


Even though there can be some struggling on my part in the process- once the LORD is fully allowed His place in the Driver's seat of my life-  I am free!.   I am no longer hanging onto to the handle with my fingernails digging in...less and less I am reminding Him of the obstacles, percieved perils, the direction...

More and more I am able to sit with my Roadmap and Manual (all in one volume called the Bible), and enjoy the direction He has chosen for me.  Soaking in where He brings me, meeting new people, opportunities- most of which I'd missed if I'd chosen my way. 

He appoints the stops for me and gives me instructions at each.  We talk with each other as we go along- He ever the Teacher, me ever the learner.  This is not helpless-dependency- this is empowering!

May today find you delighting in being in the passenger seat, with the Master Driver.   At the moment, you may be on a very rough, even treacherous roadway-- even more reason to be thankful the One Driving is the One who has been on this road before...He knows the way...Depend on Him, Hope in Him, listen to what He has to share with you..... find freedom in Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 'Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

Blessings-
cynthia

Fear & Pleasure

Perhaps there was a time when you were young, and well enough to have ridden a roller-coaster, gone downhill skiing/snow boarding...or went sledding down a steep hill....

As a child- I remember doing some of those kinds of activities and having that rare sensation when pure-fear and pure-pleasure combine into terrific-terror. The exhilaration was a cathartic and gave way to euphoria, and then pleasurable relief and rest! 

Dealing with Lyme brings plenty of fear along on the ride- but pleasure? Not only are there real fears- but those of us with this stuff in our brain, can experience heightened levels of fear.

The Lyme-fighters I've met are strong people; not naturally prone to being fearful.  But Lyme brings sometimes overwhelming fear~ 

I am learning to acknowledge the fear- and then choose to look at my situation more like an adventure- one of those wild rides down 'the big hill' back home on my wooden-metal railed-sled.  Why should I let Lyme steal the thrill of adventure?

There's another fear of which I am discovering in this adventure... With this particular fear comes: delight, success, generosity, compassion, overcoming, influence...peace, and safety.  These are just a few of the fruits of fearing the LORD. 

I was reading in Psalm 112 today, and was taken in  by descriptions of those who fear the LORD~These are attributes that are God-given, and are untouchable by Lyme.  They bring pleasure out of 'fear'- pleasure that transcends darkness, brings confidence in the face of foes... Listen to this: 
(from www.biblegateway.com   I highlighted just a few verses-)

Psalm 112

New Living Translation (NLT)

Psalm 112^[a]

¹ Praise the Lord!

How joyful are those who fear the Lord
and delight in obeying his commands.² Their children will be successful everywhere;
an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.
³ They themselves will be wealthy,
and their good deeds will last forever.
⁴ Light shines in the darkness for the godly.
They are generous, compassionate, and righteous.
⁵ Good comes to those who lend money generously
and conduct their business fairly.
⁶ Such people will not be overcome by evil.
Those who are righteous will be long remembered.
⁷ They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
⁸ They are confident and fearless
and can face their foes triumphantly.⁹ They share freely and give generously to those in need.
Their good deeds will be remembered forever.
They will have influence and honor.
¹⁰ The wicked will see this and be infuriated.
They will grind their teeth in anger;
they will slink away, their hopes thwarted.

Footnotes:

1. Psalm 112:1 This psalm is a Hebrew acrostic poem; after the introductory note of praise, each line begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

May this fear- fear of the LORD- be my overriding fear.  As the waves of fear come- may my LORD lift me to the place of worship in my heart/soul/mind..and as I bow low before Him there, in complete and utter fear/respect- for my God is a Great, Awesome, Mighty, All- Powerful God- and worthy of my praise...Yes, this fear is really the only one with which I need concern myself;  how is my relationship with this Great God....

... there it is- I'm back on that sled, experiencing the thrill of intense fear & pleasure-with an even greatersense of intensity, as I fellowship with my God.
 

~cynthia

Lessons in Rife~ "Bug Bustin"

Well, I was going to continue with starts from the beginning- but this was running through my head yesterday to share today  :)

Along with my other protoccols, I do use an EMEM5 Rife Machine.  For those unfamiliar with Rife machines- I'd encourage you to research them in regards to using them to combat Lyme (as well as other diseases, like Candida; use for pain...). But this is not the blog to get into all that.

 Suffice to say that my non-expert explanation of how it works is that it emitts targeted frequencies- and like the opera singer hitting just the right note (frequency wave) and the glass breaks- so when certain  frequencies (from a special 'light bulb') are used to target Lyme organisms- they blast the buggers and they bust apart.   (Yup- hope you appreciate all that technical jardon I used!)

So- yesterday was my treatment day.   I currently takes me about 45 min to run through my series of frequencies...And I try to work on things while I'm doing the treatment- usually something pleasant, like writing notes of encouragement to someone, learning to draw, look at a magazine, do my devotions and prayer... Yesterday was devotions and prayer~

 I have been sitting and soaking in Ephesians 1:2-14.  I happened to have been reading it in the NLT, and was enjoying its phrasing~  Here it is~  (copy/paste from www.biblegateway.com)

Ephesians 1:2-14

New Living Translation (NLT)

² May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

Spiritual Blessings

³ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. ⁴ Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. ⁵ God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. ⁶ So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.^{[a] 7} He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. ⁸ He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

⁹ God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure. ¹⁰ And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. ¹¹ Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God,^[b] for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.
¹² God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. ¹³ And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own^[c] by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. ¹⁴ The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.


Ok- So much in here!  Perhaps you can see why I've had to just sit&soak!

But here's what 'struck' me~  

I was struck by how doing my Rife treatments is like when I study God's Word-  The Rife sends out those light frequencies to 'bug-bust' (as I call it)... and the LORD uses His Light-> Jesus, the Word to strike at sin in my heart/soul.  

For both I have to allow this to happen: turn on Rife, seek frequencies that are on target to destroy bugs;  come before God in prayer, seek out His Word (Bible verses) through which God can target areas of my life in which He wants to get  rid of sin, regenerate, heal, provide refuge...
He is dynamic!

Then I looked at this-

Ephesians 1:19-20

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁹ I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power ²⁰ that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.


A commentator, JV McGee, put it this way (using KJV text):  "Let me amplify this:What is the exceeding (intense) greatness of His power (dunameous-dynamic power) to usward who believe, according to the working (energeian- the energizing) of the strength of His might."


This is the kind of power* that can ''raise the dead"!  I am in certain need of  that Ressurrection Power through Jesus Christ!  He is my Redeemer/Healer....and that is irregardless of whether I am in a state of  'health' or 'disease'!   (Can I get an Amen?)  

*Important caution: always seek the Person (the LORD) not the power; but it is good to recognize His power and give Him praise!

 Yup-  I am a big believer in detox baths these days-- to help the herxes! Might I say that I find a good 'sit&soak' in the Word is valuable as well!  Got some water, got some salt....Got God the Father, His Son Jesus Christ, His Holy Spirit..Great company on this journey!  Being able to fellowship with Him-  "is what He wanted to and it gave  great pleasure. 

So we praise God for the glorious grace he poured out on us who belong to his dear Son..."  Oh yes- plenty to soak in! 

Next time you may be doing your Rife/light treatment- let it remind you to allow the Light of God illumine, and get out those bugs-of-sin that may need treatment- then soak in His Word and Presence, allowing Him to minister to you- 

Ah- healing inside and out!  Wonderful!

Blessings In Him~

Where do I start~

Remember the days when we could go into a candy store or bakery, and try to decide which item we most wanted?  (Today it may be which protein ;) )

Well- that's how I feel right now. 

The LORD, in His goodness, has revealed so many precious things to me particularly in this past year of treatments.  Oh that His goodness could leap off this page and into your heart right now~  even in the midst of these dreadful days dealing with Lyme, His goodness exists. 

Not only does it exist- but as we carefully pull back the dark curtain of circumstance, and look into His Word, the Light of His Goodness is there... and with it comes the warmth of comfort and clarity. 

I think I will start back at some the beginning points...  Months into treatment, I began to communicate with church/family through a Caring Bridge site (a great tool). 

When I share these-  they will be 'raw'... I will leave them that way, those of you who've been in this journey will probably idenfy with things I share~

Another week floating by…finally regaining some ground from the latest ‘herx’; and having revamped a new prescription (thanks to a friendly neighborhood pharmacist).  Since I had a herx-reaction to the new protocol I began last week- looks like I will continue in a ‘holding’ pattern a bit, until those reactions are done…then, there is a new protocol up and ready for me to start. 

As one of the sites I noted in an earlier post mentions- the herx-like-reactions basically feel like taking all the symptoms you’ve had from the infection- have them all at the same time, and ratchet them all up.  Basically- pretty yuck.  But, always such a relief when they begin to subside and one can believe that again, more of those buggers in there were inactivated! 

Since these things, having been so extensively pervasive, have wreaked havoc with my CNS and chemically messed with my ‘stress dealing organs’ (like my adrenals, thyroid…).  Needless to say, many rides are taken on the ‘Mind&Emotions Bender Roller Coaster’!  Ha- like the other day, as a family we were watching a ball game on TV while there was visiting going on amoungst us; at one point one person of the group was telling me something- and I had to ask “What?” about three times, plus the speaker had to finally speak s-l-o-w-l-y to me, until I finally got it! 

 The only way I can describe this, is that when this happens it is like I am watching one of those old movies where the person’s lips and the sound don’t match, and it’s hard to actually put together what is being heard!  (It’s more funny when it’s happening   in a movie!)  The hope is, that as the organisms are knocked down (and hopefully out!), much of this will aright itself, meanwhile, taking some medicinal support is a big help- although a little tricky to navigate.  Lyme is one of those ‘humbling’ illnesses, for sure!

One of the many treatment protocols in my arsenal to beat the Lyme co-infections afflicting me- is a resonant light machine.  I am privileged to have one made available to me in my home- which is especially a huge blessing as to follow the protocols required for these infections means that over the course of a day, I may be getting that day’s required treatment for a total of 6 hours (split in sessions, which are divided up with ‘waiting periods’ in between them throughout the day).

It happens that in our home, the best place for me to receive this treatment is downstairs, in our basement- in an area which is usually my husband’s study; but which can also double as a guest area, and storm shelter when summer storms arise.  We lovingly refer to it as ‘the cave’.  

Over the course of the past couple months- I have spent a lot of time in ‘the cave’, as well as in the Psalms.  I came across a wonderful correlation the other day (while yes, I was having one of those ‘cooped up in a cave too long’ days..); and I decided to do a little Word study on ‘caves’. 

The first thing I noticed, in my handy-dandy concordance: ‘caves- shelter’.  I had to smile!  Yes, indeed- this space had become a new kind of shelter- from disease, and a place to be quiet before God. 

As I perused the various verses in which the word cave or caves appear- I was struck by what a role these geologic forms have played.  (Right now, there may even be someone recollecting a Jr. High Sunday School class which was studying 1 Samuel… and yes, I see you smiling about that one verse!) 

Besides taking an important role in people’s lives; they were mainly used for shelter and/or hiding, however, God was (and is) always very well aware of the whereabouts of everyone- even when they were/are in a cave- for any reason!

I found two of the Psalms written by David, most likely while he was in a cave: Psalm 57, and 142.  Interestingly, Psalm 57 was read to me by a deal brother-in-Christ as an encouragement (as it had been read to him during a time of trial)…. It begins, and ends:

 “Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me,

For my soul takes refuge in You;

 And in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge

Until destruction passes by…”

….

“For Your lovingkindness is great to the heavens

And Your truth to the clouds.

Be exalted above the heavens, O God;

Let Your glory be above all the earth.”

Psalm 142 I had been sitting in a few weeks ago- appreciating that on those days of ‘complaining’, my Loving God does not turn His ear from me- instead, He is the One Who Hears my Cry… Portions of it are:

“I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD;

I make supplication with my voice to the LORD.

I declare my trouble before Him…..

…I cried out to You, O LORD;

I said, You are my refuge,

My portion in the land of the living….

…Bring my soul out of prison,

So that I may give thanks to Your name;

The righteous will surround me,

For You will deal bountifully with me.”

Another gracious reminder, we are never alone nor far from the LORD.  I am thankful my God is the God Who Hears, and Who answers…even those who are tucked away in a cave.

I don't have to spend my days the cave at this point- but I treasure the Truths the LORD has shown me there... 

Are you feeling like you are in a cave these days?  Take heart-  you are not out of God's sight nor His care-  He will meet with you.  Cry out to Him and know that He is the One Who Hears Your Cry. 

Blessings--
cynthia

Lyme?!

I'd been sick for so long.

None of the doctors/specialists were listening to me.

Most would say, "Nothing is wrong" and perhaps offer an antidepressant Rx.

People would tell me, "You look fine."

I felt like I was dying.

"Something is wrong with my brain...and my heart...and my endocrine system...and my digestive tract... I hurt..."

Finally, a doctor suggested I might have Lyme Disease.  My husband and I thought not, but were so glad about how thorough this doctor was- and that he believed me.  "Go ahead and run the tests", we said... That began my journey into Lyme.

The diagnosis, mostly made with the Art of Medicine, and punctuated by the Science of Medicine, was:  Late-Stage Neuroborreliosis + Co-Infections (5).  The buggers were entrenched systemically, and were many.

Little did I know that when my physician told me "It'll get worse before it gets better- trust me", that he was understating what I'd experience in the days ahead. 

At first the dizziness from the combo abx was pretty severe, but livable.  The the first Herxheimer-like ( Herx) hit-  I felt so rotten, but got through it...  Trust the doctor...

The next Herx hit about two-weeks into treatment (tx)- this one was severe enough that my husband drove me to the ER.  I not only felt like I'd been hit by a Mack-truck-- but the pressure on my chest, difficulty breathing...the panic feeling/fear...I was thankful when it all calmed down..and that was when I dug-in and learned more Lyme, and about these "herxes"...I was in for many  more... 

I was basically homebound for about the first 5 months- just too weak and sick to go out...and when I did go out, it wasn't for long, and not alone. 

On top of all my other protoccols- I was also using a Rife protoccol which ran 6-8 hrs/day, 5days a week--  by the herxing, it was helping...but I was getting so weak too...

I celebrated getting off the combo abx after about 7 months!  But to this day- I remain vigilant on my other treatments/protoccol.  (Using a different Rife machine now- once/week and frequency runs at this time total about 45min).

The reason I decided to begin this Blog wasn't so much about offering advice about Lyme and Lyme treatments- as it is about sharing with you my spiritual journey through all this.  Many times it is the Truths I have learned/am learning that give me hope/purpose/strength/peace... and those are the most valuable- 

For no matter whether ill or healthy- those Truths are valuable...

They have kept me going~ and let's face it, no matter where you may be at in your journey fighting Lyme, we need courage...we need en-couragement... for it is a long process, with many twists-n-turns, ups-n-downs- and all-arounds..

We not only battle Lyme- but all that comes with it: financial burdens, loneliness, fear, depression, anxiety; the weight of sorting out information- finding Lyme Literate Medical Professionals, sorting out treatment, managing treatment; not to mention dealing with all the affects on us physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially....our families... 

I invite you to walk the journey with me- hopefully you will find encouragement along the way, and perhaps you may want to share a point of encouragement here with me and others.  This can become a safe place to come to hear some Good News- and God knows how desperately we need that~

For now- that is my basic introduction.  In Blogs to come, I will begin to share Truths that I pray will become a blessing to you~ 

Blessings-
cynthia