D3

Last evening I had the great privilege of not only being out of the house, but being so to give a presentation about Lyme Disease. 

When able to do these presentations to educate/advocate/encourage/give resources-  I carry close my dear Lyme Fighter Battle Buddies, especially those that are cheering me on from their beds/couches/floors/chairs at home! 

                                                                   

As I headed out on the road, my mind filled with many thoughts,  slowly a sensation, a sound, emerged to the fore-front of my thoughts.  Suddenly I realized that now that I was  on the tar road and getting up to speed, I had inadvertently had my car in D3 instead D (Drive). 
                                                                    

What I heard was the engine working a bit too hard for the conditions and speed at which I was driving!

As I made the adjustment into D, it reminded me of how often the 'old me' inside this Lyme-ridden body is roaring to GO!  But, the conditions and speed cause me to grind, and be less productive.
 
As a Lyme survivor, and one who wants to thrive- I need to pay attention to not only those desires/my personhood roaring away inside, wanting to GO-GO-GO- but I must be aware of the conditions and adjust my speed and gear accordingly for the long-run. 

Otherwise, I could do more damage, and end up worse off, and able to do less of the things I hunger to do. 

It's not easy to find this balance, and to be disciplined, but it is imperative to longevity and productivity.

What gear are you running in today?   Does it match up well with the conditions, speed...? 
Listen.  Just taking moments to listen, to discern, will have a good pay-off for you. 

Blessings,

Isaiah 48:17

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁷ This is what the Lord says—
    your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
    who teaches you what is good for you
    and leads you along the paths you should follow.

Ten Things to Keep in Mind When Feasting with a Lyme Fighter

                                                                

1. We can't eat like you.  (We aren't being picky. Some food could actually kill us, anaphylactic shock reaction, or at the least- make us sick for days.)

2. We would LOVE to eat like you.

3. We still want to be a part of the celebration.

4. Much of our celebrations revolve around food.

5. Find out what we CAN eat (usually a short list).

6. Have at least one dish prepared and set out for us on the table with the 'regular' food items (more than one if you can, of course- we may be in 'happy shock' about your doing that for us, so be prepared).

7. Don't point out our 'special dish' to the other guests (only to us so we know it is a 'safe food' for us).

8. Bring the dish to us, if we can't get out that day, and eat it with us (yes, eat the same food we are eating, along with us- like it is 'normal food').

9. Realize, depending on where we are at in our Lyme journey, we may be in grief.  So if we aren't as celebratory as you'd think we would be (after all, we didn't have to stay in bed this day and got to be a part of the celebrating)...keep in mind, we are dealing with a multitude of losses due to Lyme.  And, as with other kinds of grief, the grief waves can hit us out of nowhere- and being with a group of people eating all kinds of tempting vittles can be difficult and overwhelming.  Just let us know: you understand, you don't know how we do it, you think we are strong, you are glad you are with us, cry a few tears with us, give us a hug, show us the dish we CAN eat :)

10. Even if we have to turn down an invitation- let us know you understand, that we will be missed; send something home to us.  And, say you will invite us again-  and DO.



To those who Believe, someday- we will dine at the great banquet, without restraint or restriction :) 

Revelation 19:17  New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁷ Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, shouting to the vultures flying high in the sky: “Come! Gather together for the great banquet God has prepared.

Blessings-

Orphaned at 54

My dad, at 88 yrs old, passed away from this mortal life into his new life in Heaven a few weeks ago.  This lost left me with a new position, that of being an orphan. 

My mom passed away a few years ago, and as my son pointed out on my dad's passing, "...in a way, it is like losing Oma again too because when Opa was still with us, it was like we still had a part of Oma yet too; now they are both gone." 

This picture was taken early in my dad's hospice care.  Me holding his hand as he neared life's end; his hand, one which held mine at the beginning of my life. I'm so thankful to have had the parents I had.  Not perfect parents, but they were loving and caring.

My dad was one of the best self-managers, full of zest for life into his 89th year, and one of the most resilient people I've ever known.  What a privilege to have walked alongside each other these many years.  And what joy and comfort to know that one day we will be together again, through Jesus, with our Heavenly Father!

Needless to say, I've been 'off grid' in a lot of respects, as any extra energy I could muster was put into caring for my dad.  I had the opportunity to grow more in appreciation for caregivers, and especially caregivers who have to manage their own chronic conditions in the midst of things. 

Along the way, there have been titles and ideas of things spinning in my mind/heart- and I hope to get enough breathing space eventually to write them out to you. 

In the meantime, I'm adjusting to my status as an orphan. 

I'm reminded of this verse,

John 14:17-19

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹⁷ that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.

¹⁸ “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ^19 [a]After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also.

Blessings-

Long Roads

                                                                            

 
Did you ever notice that some roads seem to take longer than others?   Not in actual time, but in perceived time? 

When we were kids, there were even 10 mile rides that seemed to take FOR-EV-ER!

Then there are 'life roads'.  These roads also can be perceived as taking no-time-at-all, to seemingly endless.  Andy Stanley quoted his wife, in reference to time and parenting as, 'The days are long, the years are quick.' (my paraphrase)   So true of many life roads.

It seems with Lyme, I've been on a very long road- it seemed especially long when I began the journey, each day held what seemed like years of time...  Now, I can't believe I'm 31 months into treatment! And, I am so thankful for the progress made in fighting this disease; balanced with knowing I need to continue to battle on.

My battle has intertwined with my dad's health challenges.  I am his primary caregiver/manager/healthcare directive appointee/POA.  He has had one health challenge tumble after another for the past five months. Definitely a roller-coaster like road we've been on.  

Dad has had a full, long, vital life- for which he is thankful.  But, the multiple severe health issues now find him facing days of palliative care.  I'm walking along this road with him.

It has been a challenge to try to keep up/not lose any ground gained against Lyme during this time.  (You Lyme Fighters know that stress is to be avoided- HA!)

Still, our Hope is with us, our Strength, our Comforter... in Him we trust for mercy.  Our God is beyond what we call time-  He created time after all.  He works in each moment of each of our lives- as we serve Him, He expands that time; in our weakness and pain, He redeems.

These days and hours seem long, and we seek Him.  We trust He has more appointed according to His will as we travel this Shadowland road~  May His will be done, and may we be attuned to what assignments/lessons He has for us along this way. 


Blessings-

(This is the Psalm on which I am ruminating these days~)

Psalm 31

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

A Psalm of Complaint and of Praise.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

31 In You, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
Let me never be ashamed;
In Your righteousness deliver me.
² Incline Your ear to me, rescue me quickly;
Be to me a rock of ^[a]strength,
A stronghold to save me.
³ For You are my ^[b]rock and my fortress;
For Your name’s sake You will lead me and guide me.
⁴ You will pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me,
For You are my strength.
⁵ Into Your hand I commit my spirit;
You have ransomed me, O Lord, God of ^[c]truth.

⁶ I hate those who regard ^[d]vain idols,
But I trust in the Lord.
⁷ I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness,
Because You have seen my affliction;
You have known the troubles of my soul,
⁸ And You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy;
You have set my feet in a large place.

⁹ Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
My eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also.
¹⁰ For my life is spent with sorrow
And my years with sighing;
My strength has failed because of my iniquity,
And my ^[e]body has wasted away.
¹¹ Because of all my adversaries, I have become a reproach,
Especially to my neighbors,
And an object of dread to my acquaintances;
Those who see me in the street flee from me.
¹² I am forgotten as a dead man, out of mind;
I am like a broken vessel.
¹³ For I have heard the ^[f]slander of many,
Terror is on every side;
While they took counsel together against me,
They schemed to take away my life.

¹⁴ But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord,
I say, “You are my God.”
¹⁵ My times are in Your hand;
Deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me.
¹⁶ Make Your face to shine upon Your servant;
Save me in Your lovingkindness.
¹⁷ Let me not be put to shame, O Lord, for I call upon You;
Let the wicked be put to shame, let them be silent in ^[g]Sheol.
¹⁸ Let the lying lips be mute,
Which speak arrogantly against the righteous
With pride and contempt.

¹⁹ How great is Your goodness,
Which You have stored up for those who fear You,
Which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You,
Before the sons of men!
²⁰ You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man;
You keep them secretly in a ^[h]shelter from the strife of tongues.
²¹ Blessed be the Lord,
For He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city.
²² As for me, I said in my alarm,
“I am cut off from before Your eyes”;
Nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications
When I cried to You.

²³ 

Desires of Your Heart

                                                                         

Over the years, I've often considered the 'desires of my heart' to be 'external' things.  Such as, where I want to live, what I want to be doing, who I would marry, where I'd like to live, what kind of house I'd like to have.   Much akin to an ancient list of desires found in Deuteronomy 14:26 NASB: "²⁶ You may spend the money for whatever your ^[a]heart desires: for oxen, or sheep, or wine, or strong drink, or whatever your ^[b]heart ^[c]desires; and there you shall eat in the presence of the Lord your God and rejoice, you and your household."

However, my life circumstances has brought about a challenge to my personal 'desires of my heart theology'.  I'm often left confused, and even wondering if it is 'right' to even have any 'desires' in my heart at all-  given health challenges have eroded or destroyed so many of my presumptive desires.

The 'desires of your heart' came up again in our Sunday School class last week.  Seems a topic which arises regularly in the Church, especially in context of people discussing prayer and God's will... Amoung those who are healthy, or unhealthy- there seems to be a general wonderment about the subject.

Aside from the Deuteronomy verse, the other go-to verse that people cling to is Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord;And He will give you the desires of your heart."   Ah, and who doesn't want the desires of their heart?  Whatever those are?! 

For me, in my youth as a Believer, and with great cultural influence on my personal theology, I hung my hat, or rather heart, on the external things of life; as I listed at the beginning of this. 

Now, I my theology of the desires-of-my-heart is in metamorphosis, and for me, the things which I'd once thought of as desires of my heart are slowly being placed up on the shelf of 'lusting for worldly things', instead of more of an internally, eternally directed desire of my heart. 

Even looking at my ancient brethrens' list of desires- it turns out the original Hebrew word used in that verse is 'nephesh'- which speaks to an emphasis on 'creature appetites' and 'personal pleasure'; that which is lusted after, has external appeal.

The Hebrew root of desire in the Psalm 37:4 verse root word means: desire, but here, I think the beginning of the verse gives us the best insight- as it states:  "Delight yourself in the LORD; and..."
That is the key. 

Desire in and of itself is not right or wrong.   Where it gets messed-up, is in what or whom we are giving top billing in our desire. 

Too often I've been the offender in holding tight to my list of external desires, even to the extent that if those external things happen, then I've 'arrived' spiritually- as the external/worldly things are my road-signs/evidence of my righteousness.  If I'm not 'getting' those things like my 'heart desires', then perhaps I'm 'delighting myself in the LORD enough'....  bad theology!

                                                              

Rather- the greatest desire of my heart is best to be to delight myself in the LORD.  (period)  To walk in His ways (Micah 6:8)... Learn more about Who He Is, about His characteristics.  The rest of life-things will fall into place. 

It is good for me to learn about myself- and how He has made me- my personality, my talents, gifts, passions; to consider life goals... but if I am not keeping the desire of my heart set on Him- confusion comes.   When I have the desire of my heart set on Him- peace, wisdom, understanding, direction...these come. 

And really- knowing how fleeting and changeable the things of this world are- I am much more settled on this new (for me) look at the desires of my heart.  Oh but how wonderful, no matter my circumstance- to have peace, wisdom, understanding, direction... 

God builds room into each of our lives, each of our days, to serve Him, and to serve others.  Oh my, but I have lost out on so many opportunities obsessing about making sure circumstances seem 'right' to me first, or chasing after carnal knowledge, waiting for the 'big break', better health, more money, or even for God's special 'will/purpose' for me- but I've been so blinded by the dazzle, and dizziness of a worldly life- even with seemingly good things... that I've missed out on God appointed moments. 

May the words of the Apostle Paul shine as a bright beacon to my heart-  as he writes God's words to us in 1Corinthians 12: ³¹ But earnestly desire the greater gifts.  And I show you a still more excellent way.

                                                           

Show me the more excellent way, to delight myself in You LORD; teach me to walk in Your ways; that my heart's desire becomes all the more about pleasing You; and in this, lead me into Your will, and the fulfillment of the purpose/desires You have for me- as You LORD know far better than I as to what these will be- and what will be of eternal value~ 

If you'd like to do a bit more study on the subject yourself- here is a good page on which to start: http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionaries/bakers-evangelical-dictionary/desire.html

BTW-  still haven't been on to blog much as of late.. my dad continues to have major health issues, and so any extra energy I've had is going into helping him~  Your prayers are appreciated~ 

Blessings-



 

All I Want for Christmas... (Christmas Wish List for Lyme Fighters)

For those battling Lyme- the 'all I want for Christmas' list may look somewhat like this:

a certificate for an IR sauna
fav tinctures
massages
gluten free/dairy free/sugar free/nut free goodies that taste good
hot packs
cold packs
heavy-duty juicer
someone to offer to take care of the kids once in awhile
to be able to go outside
Epsom Salts
Medicinal Essential oils
certificates for food at the local organic food store
to be visited
someone to understand
little nuggets of love; specific ways of love shown wrapped in understanding
life without antibiotics
a rife machine
a doctor who 'gets it'
my family to 'get it'
detoxing foods
B12
glutathione
genetic testing
allergy testing
the pain to stop
a cure
my life back...

What's on your list?   This is certainly not an exhaustive list of wishes a Lyme Fighter might have this Christmas... but it's a good idea of where many of us are at.... While others are rushing and bustling about filling their bodies with goodies, and spending all the money on toys that we are putting into doctor bills, medicines, foods....

So, what do you give your Lyme Fighter loved one this Christmas?   Some of the items listed are very expensive!   But, the most meaningful ones will cost you time, but won't have to cost a lot of money -  Here are some ideas:

research Lyme to better understand what your loved one is going through
advocate for your loved one
wear the T-Shirt
wear the wrist band
just be with them (sit with them; hold their hand; bring a warm pack; watch a movie together; sit in the dark and quietly tell them stories, the news, what you love about them as a person)
take over their med schedule for them-- you remember all that needs to be done for them
give them a ride to the next doc apt
bring frozen home-made dinners for their family to have on hand
bring a new comfy pillow or article of clothing (natural fabrics)
set up a foot soak for them
eat like your Lyme loved one for at least a day
find new recipes for foods your Lyme loved one can eat (get ingredients)
affirm their person-hood and value
send a note
offer to watch the kids- or take them out on an outing that you know the Lyme loved one would love for them to do
...
These are only a few suggestions~  I hope others may add their own in the comments area below~

In the midst of everything~  Let us remember the Greatest Gift has come- Jesus.  He Is Peace.  He knows each of us- and loves us.  The Gift of Himself is available to all-- and in return, we can freely offer this Hope and Peace to those around us! 

1John 1:5

1 What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life— ² and the life was manifested, and we have seen and testify and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was manifested to us— ³ what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ. ⁴ These things we write, so that our joy may be made complete.

⁵ This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

May your joy be made complete this Christmas, no matter the circumstances~  May the Peace, Hope, Joy, Love, Strength..be yours in Christ Jesus~ amen

Blessings~
Merry Christmas, from our home to yours
                                    

What Are You Waiting For?

It's another weighty Christmastime, marked not only with the challenges of a chronic illness, but in the past week, two people in our congregation, of relatively young age, have passed away.  We are glad for them to be translated to glory, but grieve with the families~ 

Too, I've been in contact with a number of Lyme-fighting buddies through various social media networks- and my heart goes out to those who are fully in the throes of this dread illness... Last week I celebrated with another young friend who is battling glioblastoma multiforme (a rare, aggressive brain cancer) as he had gotten a positive result from his latest tests; although there is a shadow of being cautioned that he must be tested every two months to make sure to keep a close eye on his progress. 

And, my dear grand-niece continues to battle ALL; she is now about nine-months old and has gone through more treatment **** than I can even begin to fathom- but happy to be able to be home for a few days with her family, pictures of her smiling give testimony to her strength, joy, and the great care and love she receives from her young parents...

                                                     

Storms.  Evil and Good in tension with one another.  While on earth- we cannot escape being touched by evil/sin that is in the world.. BUT- 

1 John 4:3-5

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

³ and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world. ⁴ You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. ⁵ They are from the world; therefore they speak as from the world, and the world listens to them.


We all find ourselves in storms from time to time...sometimes for extended amounts of time, with great distress... But just as when Jesus was with His disciples in the boat, with the storm raging...  He (Jesus) went out INTO the storm WITH His people.  He is with you.  He is your Hope.  He is willing to suffer with us.

Luke 8:23-25

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

²³ But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger. ²⁴ They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and ^[a]it became calm. ²⁵ And He said to them, “Where is your faith?” They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?”

Who then is this?  Who is this that calms the storms?

 We are in Advent-  we are waiting... Waiting for the One Who Was, Who Is, and Is To Come. 

We remember Him through the Ancient Words, through remembering how He has been with us already; we remember He Is with us now; and we look forward to His coming again- to set things right!  Our focus must be on Him~ and our hope set on Him...

If you are in the middle of a storm(s) right now-  Please take time to listen to this free podcast by Louie Giglio-  I hope it will encourage you as much as it has encouraged me~   Listen to the December 10, 2013 "Seeing Christ in the Storms of Life" message http://podbay.fm/show/400379025
 
Blessings-  and MERRY CHRISTMAS~