Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Blessing in Him

Yes, it is a recurring theme for me- perhaps for you. 

I wrestle with how life  'out to be', and it's reality- and I find myself getting discouraged. 

Yesterday, I was meditating on Scripture- and trying to sort things out in my mind again... The Truth is- life, in and of itself, disappoints; my expectations built on wishes, disappoints... But- only the Person of Jesus Christ, only in Him is true blessing...only He does not disappoint.

At times I get things mixed up- in that I believe that surely God will have something work out in my life a certain way- wishing for relief, non-complication, an 'easy button', something just fall into place...but over the past few years- this has not been the case.

Now mind you-  there is plenty for which to be thankful as well- and we do thank Him for those things, but these don't nullify the weight of so many other things that just slog us down... 

This is different than being 'thankful'- in that for me, the verbiage is attached to 'things and people' for which I've counted as being good and helpful...bringing a gladness....  Where I need to go is deeper, into joy- found only in Him-- irregardless of circumstances or people... 

I'm at least seeing I need to get there- and moving that direction more...but I am still in process.... I need to move even beyond 'thank You God for such-and-such and so-and-so', which are still of value...but deeper-  into:  Oh God of Glory- thank You for Who You Are- not for what You can give me- but just Who You Are--  Grace, Mercy, Justice, Creator, Mighty, All Powerful... 

Seems if I look around (which I do not recommend doing, but my humanity is showing)- I look and am amazed at how 'easily' things seem to fall into place for ungracious people...I rejoice with them, but can't help we work at things, only to have 'odd' thing come up that 'rob us' from what we perceive to be good for us...  We trust in the Object of our Faith to be working out something more marvelous than we were aiming for-- but discouragement does keep poking at us... 

Came across this evening devotional (May 28th) by Sprugeon-  I think he puts some of this eloquently on the page...
"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope." --Lamentations 3:21

"Memory is frequently the bondslave of despondency. Despairing minds call to remembrance every dark foreboding in the past, and dilate upon every gloomy feature in the present; thus memory, clothed in sackcloth, presents to the mind a cup of mingled gall and wormwood. There is, however, no necessity for this.

Wisdom can readily transform memory into an angel of comfort. That same recollection which in its left hand brings so many gloomy omens, may be trained to bear in its right a wealth of hopeful signs. She need not wear a crown of iron, she may encircle her brow with a fillet of gold, all spangled with stars. 

Thus it was in Jeremiah's experience: in the previous verse memory had brought him to deep humiliation of soul: "My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me"; and now this same memory restored him to life and comfort. "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope." Like a two-edged sword, his memory first killed his pride with one edge, and then slew his despair with the other. 

As a general principle, if we would exercise our memories more wisely, we might, in our very darkest distress, strike a match which would instantaneously kindle the lamp of comfort.

There is no need for God to create a new thing upon the earth in order to restore believers to joy; if they would prayerfully rake the ashes of the past, they would find light for the present; and if they would turn to the book of truth and the throne of grace, their candle would soon shine as aforetime.

 Be it ours to remember the lovingkindness of the Lord, and to rehearse His deeds of grace. Let us open the volume of recollection which is so richly illuminated with memorials of mercy, and we shall soon be happy. Thus memory may be, as Coleridge calls it, "the bosom-spring of joy," and when the Divine Comforter bends it to His service, it may be chief among earthly comforters".

How are you doing today Beloved?  May you find your heart encouraged in knowing the One Who Never Changes is your Living Hope-  We need not search further than our hearts and His Word... May we rest in that encouragement- May He make the encouragement palpable...


Thursday, May 23, 2013


I'm recovering from the wedding activities.  Still the 'after math' things to do...but no urgency on those now!  Course, there is the list of ATW (after the wedding)  things that have piled up. And, keep at protocols/rest....

On top of those, another one of my teeth broke the week before the wedding.  Today I went to a new dentist (new to me).  Needing to find a dentist closer to home, as my other dentist of many years, is an hour-and-a-half away. 

Got in the office, which happened to be in a very cute older home.  After only about five minutes in the waiting room, I could feel the mold in the room.  Oh well- sometimes, you know, you just get tired of it all- and you think you'll just wait and see how it goes.. 

Well, I was really feeling it by the time the dentist was done with his look-over.  Didn't help that the vent was blowing directly on me at this point.  Basically, after looking me over, and looking at my medical records- he was telling me I could wait to have the work done....he'd be willing to do it, but if I wanted to go somewhere else, he'd be okay with that.   Hhmmm.

Figuring we were being honest here- I took the risk of alerting him to the mold in his office and that there were some simple ways he could deal with the issue- for the good of his staff and patients.  He immediately acknowledged the mold issue, and how it doesn't bother him...if it bothers me, perhaps I should look for another office (for my benefit).  Hhmmm...  so I paid my bill, and left, with nothing. 

More money out for 'nothing'...more money to out to do more, some time.... More risks/benefits to consider... 

Typical day for a Lyme Fighter.

Another day of feeling judged, misunderstood. 

But, my God knows.  I will seek Him for further direction.  He is holding me today- and ordering my footsteps- even if it doesn't make sense to me.  He is my Redeemer- 

I've been learning so much the past couple weeks!  I am excited to share more about some things the Lord has been teaching me!  Just need a little more process time-  but then, I'll be posting more.

May the Lord's nearness and care be a balm to you today! 


Thursday, May 9, 2013

free book deal only until May 10, 2013

Had to post-  free book to download (I use Amazon link) to your device- iphone, ipad- our right on to your computer using a free app. 

book: God Knows My Name-

May you find encouragement in it~


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Listening to Own Advice

One of our daughter's is getting married in 10 days!  So- I wanted to let you know, and to ask grace of I will be off the grid probably until after the wedding some time.

Meanwhile, I already have a list of things to visit with you about once things calm down, and my brain of Swiss-cheese can settle down from other distractions and give more thought to the subjects on the list.  (You will remain on my mind Beloved!)

One subject will be the treacherous waters of re-entry into the pace of life around us.  It requires a number of things about which to be conscious, and all those held onto by self-discipline. 

Lately, in part to med adjustments, I'd found a titch more 'get er done' in my well-being.  Well, when we get even a titch- we are so excited we just naturally begin testing the new boundary... Which I have done already- with pay-back to heavily remind me where that boundary is.

So- I will take my own advice, and will need to even more be disciplined to not slip up on any aspects of my protocols...  Lord willing, if I can pace it out- I just may be able to participate to some goodly degree (even if I am just sitting or lying off to the side). 

Last week, I went up and tried to help my daughter a bit with sprucing up the home in which they will be living.  My heart was filled with how special the time was- and I wanted badly to take in all the activities for the day....seeing the helpers, seeing the house transforming into a home... I did make it a few hours- for which I was very thankful; a couple years ago that would've been impossible.

Still, I cried a bit on the way home-

I asked myself why, it was great I even got to go for a few hours... the answer keeps coming to me that somehow I have this expectation of life-going-my-way-the-right-way, and when it doesn't- ERG! 

 Thankfully- I am getting better at getting to the Crux of the matter sooner:  I am not in control.  I live in a world spoiled by sin/sin nature.  My God is the Redeemer.  My God is Good.  My God is in control.  My God has a goodness and purpose hidden in every detail of every day. 

Why do I cry and whine, when it wasn't long ago that I was crying thinking I'd never get out of bed, or the house again.... 

Ah- LORD, forgive me of my short-memory- and inclination to grumble and spend energy on angst when I have so much for which to thank You, and can be putting my energy into thanksgiving, and service... 


Sunday, May 5, 2013

Living Hope

Lately, I've found myself sitting in the book of 1 Peter.  Mostly I'd been just reading here and there, and then thought maybe I should just go back to the beginning and really go through the whole book.  Well, I made it to verse 19 of chapter 1.

In these verses, I will need to stay some time, to really soak it in. 

A lot has been going on lately.  Life is moving at a faster pace than I am ready for; I'm still in culture shock as I am re-entering life/culture.  On top of this- our family has had several 'hits' the past few weeks...really, sometimes the oppression of where we live ramps up, and it can be discouraging.

Throw in continuing to battle Lyme, well, you know---

Now, as you probablly have, I've read through these passages multiple times before; in fact, so well marked are many of the verses and word that it's gotten a bit messy on that page...different marking utensils for different life-seasons in which I've visited this text...notes scribbled in the margins...pencils, pens, different colored markers...

And today- I read them again like I've never seen it before.  There is something there, deeper, that is unwrapped before me by the Holy Spirit- and the gift is laid bare; and it is just what I need.

Living Hope.

Hope.  I've been wrestling with as I fight Lyme...what is Hope, and how is it/not congruent with my fleshly/ worldy understanding- and what biblically is it...  It is Christ.  He IS Hope.   Many times I have experienced that Truth as a 'landing point' as I go through life's battles. 

But, Living Hope; this takes it to another dimension. 

The translation I prefer is the NASB-  The chapter begins by identifying Peter's audience: aliens.  Yep- feeling more like an alien than ever.  :)  And, Peter goes on into the LORD's identity as the Trinity- Father, Holy Spirit, Son... vs2...'May grace and peace be yours in fullest measure.' 

Grace, peace... fullest measure.  Fullest measure of grace and peace...  Oh, I need to breath that in! 

Verse 3 " Blessed be God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the ressurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."

Living Hope.  There it is.  I am more apt to land on Hope- but do I experience it as living, alive?

Look at these words that pop out in verse 4: inheritance, imperishable, undefiled, not fade, perserved in heaven....   Verse 5: protected by the power of God, through faith/salvation, ready to be revealed in the last time...

6: " In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,"

Yes, the trials-  and yet Peter reminds me in those things I can rejoice, greatly rejoice.  He also reminds me of God's perspective of time- 'a little while'.   I think of the saints/prophets about whom the Scriptures speak-- those who spent years...decades enduring various trials, and yet- I read about them in a few words... to me it was a 'little while'... to those going through it- it must have felt an eternity at times... 

Necessary-  did you catch that word?  'If necessary'-  this speaks to purpose/reason for these trials.  Through which are opportunities to glorify God, to learn more deeply His principles, to encourage others with understanding, to give a witness.... 

Verses7-9 "...that the proof of your faith , being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him you love Him, and though you do not seee Him now, but believe Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining a the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls."

Outside of the heavenly, things are perishable.  This is so counter-cultural in my world.  I am dependent on the Holy Spirit to help me see this heavenly perspective, and on HIs giftingf of self-control to discplin my heart and mind in turning toward the Truth of it.

Faith is believing in the Object of our Faith- when unseen...therein lies joy.  We reach beyond our mortal senses and into 'knowing' His reality- even though we have yet to 'see Him'; His handprints are all around us; He fills a surrendered heart with His distinct presence...and we know.  In fact, we know-that-we-know-that-we-know...  there is a deep satisfaction and peace that comes with this knowing that nothing earthly can bring to us.

In verse 13, we find 'Therefore'-  So, after soaking this all in-  Peter implores us:
"Therefore, gird your minds for action,

keep sober in spirit,
fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."  ..... verse 18-19 "..knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ."

The word 'action' may seem odd to us, especially when strings of days...weeks...months...may find us primarily in our bed... but ah, we are to 'gird our minds' for action.  In Peter's day- this was an expression from the when those with long Eastern garments had to gather and fasten them up in order to freely move about.  Basically- we are to ready ourselves.

Yes, and we can be readying ourselves- even in the long seasons on a sick-bed.  There is still a Great God who desires to meet with you, to teach you, to encourage you, to ready you- according to His great design and calling upon your life.

Peter implores- be sober; to be intentional in studying His Word.  Truth can permeate through the foggiest of minds--  Find some way to study, to listen, to hear, to read, to soak It in...even if it is one Word, one verse... Meditate on His Word..

And Hope.  Not hoping you get well, hoping you can do this or that....Fix your mind on the Living Hope that is in you.  In fact, look again, Peter states, "..fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

Fix, completely, grace.... 

No, this (life, this season of battle) is not 'all there is' Beloved-- there is oh-so-much-more to come.  All these trials- they are for a little while.  Let us fix our minds and hearts steadily on He Who Is Hope-  our Living Hope.  

Dear One, may you experience Living Hope in your life today. 

(All highlights/italics...used with the Scripture passages, I have added)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013


Lyme has been teaching me new lessons, new awareness, about judging.

Judging in and of itself is not 'bad'-  we make critical judgements everyday that keep us safe, and help us in the pursuit of health; which doctor to go to, what we will eat, what activity we may do...  The doctor that finally figured out what was wrong with us made a clinical judgement/diagnosis- for which we are grateful.

As Believers- we are actually supposed to 'judge' each other (other Believers); do 'fruit checks'; hold each other accountable...  We are not to judge unbelievers.  The Ultimate Judge is the Lord. 

The Word of God, the Bible, in its nature acts as a judge- as it states the Truth to us, and through it, the Holy Spirit may bring about conviction of sin (that which we do, knowing it is wrong.... that which we leave undone, knowing we were to do it...).

Of course, one day, there will be Ultimate Judgement by the Lord- at our death, and at His Return.....but these things I am not getting into here... 

People with Lyme deal quite a bit with judgment by others- judged as complainers, weak, lazy, doctors, nurses, friends...even family. Even those of us who put up a good fight, and put on a good face- eventually run into being misjudged; which is another tough blow in the Lyme journey with which to deal~

You really have to dig deep.  As a Believer- you hold onto the Truth, that God knows what you are going through; and no matter how wobbly the legs get, keep standing on that, and keep plugging away. 

The sadder thing is, it seems this kind of judging is catching.  As wounded and angry as I can get about others judging me (like when I have to lie down, or sit down at a store- and hope it is a store with a nice sturdy low shelf on which to rest... Or, when I have to say 'no' to attending something for the umpteenth time...Or, when apparently I 'looks so good'- on that one couple hour trip out of the house, the first in days/weeks...)-

The ugliest of the judging is when I embrace it myself.   Here, I know well how wounding and unjust it is, and at such a deep level...and yet- I will catch myself judging another person (they should be more thankful for the energy they have; how can they just spend money like that when IF I have money come in- it goes right out into medical expenses!; Really!- they are throwing a huge hissy because they lost one day of work because of a bad cold- how would they feel to be this sick for years, even decades! ; or, Wow- they are complaining they have to go into work on a Monday morning- when we dream of being able to work, hold a regular job..)

Ugh-  Guess that ol' log is stickin wwaaaaaayyyy, out there from my eye! 

Yes indeed, the Word of Truth shows me that before I let others' judgements against me stir up my own judgements about others- I need to be very careful! 

Oh may His Truth and Grace continually direct my heart and my actions.  Lord, help me to be forgiving, and gracious to those who don't understand, can't understand, won't understand.  Thank You that You do understand- You see... You know how it feels to be misjudged... be my Balm, and help me to more and more reflect Your presence... amen!


Psalm 73

1 Peter 2:18-25
18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are [t]unreasonable. 19 For this finds [u]favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds [v]favor with God.

Christ Is Our Example

21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22 who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; 23 [w]and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 and He Himself [x]bore our sins in His body on the [y]cross, so that we might die to [z]sin and live to righteousness; for by His [aa]wounds you were healed. 25 For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and [ab]Guardian of your souls.

Matthew 7:3-5
Luke 6:41-42
Isaiah 3:13
Romans 14:10,13
1 Corinthians 5:12
and more- you may go to and search the word judgement to do your own study~