Dwelling

I confess- I've had a grouchy morning.  And yes, even at, and after church.  No excuse, but I was tired after having done an extra activity yesterday-- and today is payday. 

Before heading out to church, I had a thought come to mind.  One word: dwelling.  I didn't have time to develop the thought further rigth then, but as the morning went on- I began to see more meaning in the word.

Of course, being a wonkish nerd- I had to look up the word dwelling; yes, in more than one source! 

Merriam-Webster says: 'a shelter (as a house) in which people live' and that the word was noted to be used in the 14th century...they also list a wonder list of synonyms and related words...

My Dictionary.com app says: a building or place of shelter to live in; abode; home...  originating sometime 1250-1300... Interestingly -in the early usage, it would hold meaning  to lead astray, go astray, to make a fool of

Most interesting to me was noting below this- the definition of dwell: 
-to live of stay as a permanent resident; resides
- to live or continue in a given condition or state
- to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought, speech, or writing

Ah, now it was really starting to hit home. 

Yep- Today I was caught 'dwelling', and it wasn't about where I reside physically.  It had to do with where my heart was dwelling...or rather, on what my heart was dwelling... And yes, deception was involved, as it involved my heart. (Jeremiah 17:9  “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?)

I can tell you today, I wasn't choosing to dwell in the Kingdom of Heaven the LORD has provided for me.  No, I was hanging out in a hovel of hurt and self-pity. 

Obviously- it's time for some house cleaning...again. Seems like with the lead curtain of lyme pulled down over me- darkness can swallow me up so much more quickly... I get tired and my shield of faith slips more easily- and as soon as that happens, those firey arrows come a'flyin!  (Ephesians 6:10-17)


God forgive me for again, for taking my eyes off of You, and choosing to dwell in the shany of my own heart- slapped together with boards of self-pity, anger, self-righteousness, hurt, fear...nailed together with nails of pride...

Tear down these walls LORD- replace them with the bricks of love, peace, joy, mercy, truth, compassion...fill the walls with  Your righteousness, Your glory, Your lovingkidness... with Jesus as its Cornerstone, and Your Holy Spirit its mortar...  may it become my permanent dwelling place here on earth, as I wait until the glorious day You come to take me to the mansion which You've prepared for me. 

In my weakness and affliction, You are gentle, patient, and my Comforter- You see all things and You will give me strength to move forward...out of my self-imposed hut, and into a heavenly dwelling.  My I dwell there.

Blessings-

2 Corinthians 5:1-3

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

5 For we know that if ^[a]the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. ² For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, ³ inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked.

 

Psalm 73

²¹ When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced ^[v]within,
²² Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like ^[w]a beast ^[x]before You.
²³ Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
²⁴ With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me ^[y]to glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but You?
And ^[z]besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the ^[aa]strength of my heart and my portion forever.
²⁷ For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have ^[ab]destroyed all those who ^[ac]are unfaithful to You.
²⁸ But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord ^[ad]God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.