Sunday, April 14, 2013


I'm missing going to church today.  Got out of bed, took my medications and had breakfast.  Decided to do my devotions by the wood stove.  But, my mind and body started shutting back down; so I pulled over a closeby foot rest, put my feet up while lying on the floor, just to rest til it past. 

An hour later- got up to the couch.  More meds. Another half-hour...and back to semi-vertical state!

I've been having less 'crashes'- but have had a couple this week.  I ended up with a vigourus cold.  There are some in the camp that say it is a good thing that I caught a cold- the first one in years.  It is supposed to mark an 'improvement' in Lyme?  Perhaps my immune system is not so tied up now fighting Lyme and has the 'leisure' to attack something less menacing- a cold. 

My body is making up for lost time though- this cold has settled in, and is a very unwelcome guest! 

Anyway-  I am up, and decided to check my computer.  In an email from A Holy Experience, I found an article dealing with depression and faith.  In the article, the writer describes a biochemical imbalance he has experienced- which caused 'dysphoria, an intense, overpowering sense of despair'.

It reminded me a lot of the incredible, unexplainable sense of dread that those of us fighting Lyme can encounter.  It can be overpowering-

As a Believer- we can really beat ourselves up over having some of these emotions we experience- and there are plenty in the Lyme Fight-  anger, rage, weeping, depression, despair...  In many cases, it is not a matter of 'faith'- but of us having neurological and bio-chemical imbalances. 

If you are struggling with these emotions-  talk to your Lyme doctor about them.  He/She will not think you are crazy!  These feelings are very common amoung those with Lyme!  The doctor can help you sort out what is going on, and perhaps modify your treatment plan to help bring more bio-chemical balance.  (Who's talking in your head- is it you? Or, is it the Lyme?)

In my experience- there is a sublte difference, but there is a difference, when I take the time to look discerningly at my emotions-- when they spring from my (sinful) heart, my woundedness, bio-chemical....  The biggest thing is to find someone who understands what you are going through, and can help you sort these things out.  You don't have to go through this alone.

For me- it hasn't been a matter of my 'having enough faith'-  but it has been that: I belong to a Faithful God- who does not leave me, and who is always whom I can Cry Out....  He is the Only One Who Has The Power To Overcome these overwhelming emotions. 

Beloved- may the LORD reach His Right Arm out to you today- to take hold of you and lift you up by His Strong Arm- that you may know the Security of His Presence.... May He give you His wisdom and discernment~  In Him is Life- He is our Saviour~


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