Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Listening to Own Advice

One of our daughter's is getting married in 10 days!  So- I wanted to let you know, and to ask grace of I will be off the grid probably until after the wedding some time.

Meanwhile, I already have a list of things to visit with you about once things calm down, and my brain of Swiss-cheese can settle down from other distractions and give more thought to the subjects on the list.  (You will remain on my mind Beloved!)

One subject will be the treacherous waters of re-entry into the pace of life around us.  It requires a number of things about which to be conscious, and all those held onto by self-discipline. 

Lately, in part to med adjustments, I'd found a titch more 'get er done' in my well-being.  Well, when we get even a titch- we are so excited we just naturally begin testing the new boundary... Which I have done already- with pay-back to heavily remind me where that boundary is.

So- I will take my own advice, and will need to even more be disciplined to not slip up on any aspects of my protocols...  Lord willing, if I can pace it out- I just may be able to participate to some goodly degree (even if I am just sitting or lying off to the side). 

Last week, I went up and tried to help my daughter a bit with sprucing up the home in which they will be living.  My heart was filled with how special the time was- and I wanted badly to take in all the activities for the day....seeing the helpers, seeing the house transforming into a home... I did make it a few hours- for which I was very thankful; a couple years ago that would've been impossible.

Still, I cried a bit on the way home-

I asked myself why, it was great I even got to go for a few hours... the answer keeps coming to me that somehow I have this expectation of life-going-my-way-the-right-way, and when it doesn't- ERG! 

 Thankfully- I am getting better at getting to the Crux of the matter sooner:  I am not in control.  I live in a world spoiled by sin/sin nature.  My God is the Redeemer.  My God is Good.  My God is in control.  My God has a goodness and purpose hidden in every detail of every day. 

Why do I cry and whine, when it wasn't long ago that I was crying thinking I'd never get out of bed, or the house again.... 

Ah- LORD, forgive me of my short-memory- and inclination to grumble and spend energy on angst when I have so much for which to thank You, and can be putting my energy into thanksgiving, and service... 


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