Expecting

I am often accused of having too high of expectations.  This has led to me also then experience much dissapointment.  (Having Lyme gives you expotential opportunities for dissapointent!)

"If only" has  ruined many of a day for me.... My husbands would say, "If onlys and buts were candies and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas!"  

Which brings me to that very thing that is the ONLY thing, or Person- in whom my expectations can truly be placed- the Lord Jesus.

The LORD has been dealing with me as of late on many things.  One of which is that I have had my emotional default set on 'hurt' for a very long time.  He is in the process of reprogramming my wiring so that my default setting is on 'HIM' instead!

As far as expecting this or that--- the dissapointment usually comes because I have set my hope on some particular person or thing, to happen at some particular place or time- which I think most likely, even best... NOT! 

Over this past year- the LORD has been showing me what I am doing in that is misplacing Hope.  Hope is not a thing, or an idea, or a human, or a particular way something is to be done, or a certain way of looking...  Hope is a part of who the LORD is.

Even taking it further than putting my hope in the LORD, but realize HE IS HOPE...it is a part of who He is, a part of His being. 

The more closely I am in community with Him- the more hopefilled I am.  I am not setting my hope on any particular outcome I can formulate, but able to experience a satisfying hope simply by realizing that He is Hope- and as He is present, Hope is present....nothing more is needed. 

Quite quieting and freeing a realization.

It is the Advent season- a wonderful season of Good Expecting-  We are reminded of when Hope came to earth to dwell amoung us; to become that High Priest who understands us.

Hope has come.  

In fact, Hope has always been... Hope is... and Hope is yet to come! 

Perhaps this Advent season finds you sidelined- making the seasonal rushing about all the more glaring to you.   Perhaps you feel lonely, isolated, sad, left-behind....dissappointed... This isn't what you expected!

Beloved- Hope understands, and is nearby.   Reach out to Him today, grow closer to Him in prayer and by His Word.  Delight in who HE IS this Advent season.  (Not what you think He may do for you....He will do things for you- but through the grime of worldly vision we miss much of what He is doing- and then may think He isn't doing something because we don't see it being done as we'd expected it to be done...) 

Read more about Hope this season-  read in Isaiah, the Gospels...If you tire too easily- you can listen to passages at www.Biblegateway.com  (NASB). 

You will not be dissapointed by Hope.

Blessings-

http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh196.sht

http://www.aholyexperience.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Jesse_Tree_Advent_Celebration1.pdf

Isaiah 7:14

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹⁴ Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a ^[a]virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name ^[b]Immanuel.   (God with us.)

 

1 Timothy 1:1
   Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus according to the commandment of God our Savior, and of Christ Jesus, who is our hope,

 

Titus 2:13  looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus,

 

1 Peter 1:3
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 Peter 1:2-4 (in Context) 1 Peter 1 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

 

1 Peter 1:13
Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

 
 

Minimalist

We had a lovely Thanksgiving Dinner at our one daughter's boyfriend's parents' house. (wow- try to say that fast three times!) 

The Hostess had bounty of delights, served with warmth and generosity!  The table was packed with delightful delicacies-  Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, home-pickled red-hot cucumbers, olives, homemade rolls, Swedish Hardtack, baked yams in brown sugar, greenbean casserole, jello-fruit-whipping cream salad..pies for dessert... OH MY!  It was wonderful!

And yes- knowing it would cause much discomfort (at the least) if I indulged in all these goodies- I brought along a treat for myself- a plain baked sweet potato, some plain red rice, and an avocado to have with my turkey!  (OK- so I confess, I did splurge and tried a small dime-sized piece of her Hardtack (it was AMAZING!  I guess the recipe uses malt in it!)

What a test of fortitude and disciplin!  I had a few comments thrown my away about my plate of food- not being the regular Thanksgiving fair--  but, the pay off was not feeling rotten from how the foods would affect me...I could stay longer at the gathering, and interact with people more. 

So really, even though I hadn't indulged in the food-pleasures before me- I was able to indulge in community with family and friends-  it was a good trade off! 

My Hostess, a new friend, seemed understanding an supportive- even allowing me to smell her wonderful vanilla spiced Earl Grey tea that I was skipping on after dinner too!  Wow- usually even my family isn't big on it when I ask to at least smell the food I can't eat- and here she offered me of whiff (it was wonderful!).  ( I was drinking some great Ginger tea- which is really only dried ginger- it is my new favorite!) 

I did find a recipe for pumpkin pie- in which you have eggs (can still get by with those), coconut milk, and Stevia...  So that was my special dessert later (Yes, I had some medicinal protein at the same time!).

During the day- I was thinking of all my other Lyme Fighter pals-  some being as I was last year: not able to get out, and still couch/bed bound much of the days...I felt an overwheming thankfulness for the privilege of having gotten to go to the friend's house with my family....  I also thought of those of my pals having to use great restraint and, as I, forge new ideas as to what Thanksgiving dinner looks like.  

For me, the 'icing on the cake' for Thanksgiving was much less about the food- and much more about being with loved ones, being to participate in community- with great Thanks to the LORD. 

I don't know how you are doing today (or how it went for you yesterday).  But know that a Sister-in-the-Journey has been thinking about you.  How strong you are to keep battling away- learning new things, learning new ways to do 'life',  learning how to rest... learning a new appreciation for the little things in life... learning how to work through loss and grief while holding onto life-lines... 

May the LORD our Mighty God, be found as your Safe Place, your Provision, your Rest, your Encourager, your Help.... May His lovingkindness so saturate your soul and mind- that you are not left longing for anything else- 

Blessings-
Psalm 145  (14-16)

The One Who Hears

Today I was meditating through Psalm 145-  It turns out to be a wonderful Psalm for Thanksgivng. 

This past year, during my treatments, I have been drawn to discover more about who my God is.  So, as I read through Scripture- I have taken to writing references to His character and being in the margins.  It has been such a blessing as He reveals Himself to me through this. 

I would encourage you to go through Psalm 145 today- make a list as He reveals Himself to you-

Searching through the Psalm, I found about 37 references as to who He is- like:  Majestic, King, the One Who Hears, Satisfier, Worker of splendoris wonders, Sustainer, Saviour, merciful, good....

On those many days that I wanted to study the Word, but just couldn't think deeply enough from fog and fatigue- I began to just look for a phrase or a word that would show me better the attributes of this God of mine-  then, I would meditate on just that attribute for that day. 

So maybe my mind doesn't click as well as to allow me to memorize verses, chapters, books... but I have found great richness in the times I have lingered over a phrase, over a word, of His attributes- and simply praised Him for who He is. 

How many of His children are in positions to spend hours praising Him this way...not for what He has done for us (although that is good too)...but just simply being amazed by who He is and praising Him in that... 

Have  a blessed time of Giving Thanks to Him for HE IS......  

Psalm 145

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The Lord Extolled for His Goodness.

A Psalm of Praise, of David.

145 I will extol You, my God, O King,
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
² Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
³ Great is the Lord, and highly to be praised,
And His greatness is unsearchable.
⁴ One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
⁵ On the glorious ^[a]splendor of Your majesty
And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.
⁶ Men shall speak of the ^[b]power of Your awesome acts,
And I will tell of Your greatness.
⁷ They shall ^[c]eagerly utter the memory of Your abundant goodness
And will shout joyfully of Your righteousness.

⁸ The Lord is gracious and merciful;
Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.
⁹ The Lord is good to all,
And His mercies are over all His works.
¹⁰ All Your works shall give thanks to You, O Lord,
And Your godly ones shall bless You.
¹¹ They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom
And talk of Your power;
¹² To make known to the sons of men ^[d]Your mighty acts
And the glory of the majesty of ^[e]Your kingdom.
¹³ Your kingdom is ^[f]an everlasting kingdom,
And Your dominion endures throughout all generations.

¹⁴ The Lord sustains all who fall
And raises up all who are bowed down.
¹⁵ The eyes of all ^[g]look to You,
And You give them their food in due time.
¹⁶ You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing.

¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in all His ways
And kind in all His deeds.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.
¹⁹ He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
He will also hear their cry and will save them.
²⁰ The Lord keeps all who love Him,
But all the wicked He will destroy.
²¹ My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
And all flesh will bless His holy name forever and ever.

Giving Thanks Tool

Got this in my email today- thought I'd share the site with you-
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/04/when-youre-feeling-a-bit-broken-free-weekly-gratitude-journa-l/

Simple reminder for this week (can do it throughout the year) to Give Thanks. 

A lot of days we may have to dig deep to come up to that place-- I dearly love that in Scripture, it is called a 'sacrifice of praise'! 

God understands the choice of sacrificially giving Him the praise He is deserves- despite our current circumstance, pain, fear, unknown future.... 

When we boldly give a sacrifice of praise to Him in the face of pain and uncertainty- it does not go unoticed-  it's fragrance is heavy, with a sweet aroma as it rises to Him. 

Our LORD never requires of us something that won't also in turn bring benefit to our well-being; He is just too generous and full of lovingkindness not to. 

May this Giving Thanks season (in the United States) be one richly blessed by His presence in your praise...as you lift your praise to Him, may you find your heart, soul and mind lifted as well...your soul encouraged, your LORD glorified...a wonderful cycle...

Blessings to you!

1. Psalm 27:6
   And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me, And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
   Psalm 27:5-7 (in Context) Psalm 27 (Whole Chapter)
2. Hebrews 13:15
   [ God-pleasing Sacrifices ] Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.

Dying to Live

Die to self-  it isn’t as much about those things which make us unique in personhood- as much as it is allowing the LORD to continue to wash out the sin stains in our heart (sanctification) and for us to continually submit to His revealed will for us in Scripture…  (basically thing that are opposed to the Fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23)

 

Each disciple/apostle, in surrender to Christ, did not lose their unique personality/personhood, but rather their unique personhood was being perfected and completed in their submission to the LORD unto their:  a) cleansing of sin   b) salvation   c) sanctification   d) submission to the will of God   e) calling

 

By setting our hearts and minds on Him, toward Him- and opening, and submitting, our hearts and minds to His work through the Holy Spirità transformation takes place. 

Instead of concerning self with ‘outcomes, activities…’, we must continue to first seek Him, to know Him; allowing Him to do His work in our hearts (wean us, Psalm 131).  It is paramount to pay attention in the process within our relationship to Him and concern ourselves foremost with this.  The LORD will take care of the business of life.

Not to say we halt engaging the world as this process progresses, but as we do- we must allow the Holy Spirit to reset our heart’s and mind’s responsive default system which has been hair-triggered to the world’s stimuli. 

Instead of a default setting on hurt, may it be on Him.  Instead of a response default setting on

 anger-> love,

 bitterness->love,

 contempt->submission,

 lies-> truth, 

harshness-> grace,

 judgment->mercy, 

self-righteousness->His righteousness,

 my way-> His way,

 revenge-> His vengeance,

tearing others down->humility,

 self-loathing (pride)-> humility,

 speaking out->quietness,

 fear-> His security,

 anxiousness-> His peace,

 hate-> His Love,

pride-> His glory

 

I don’t know about you- but there are plenty more default settings in my heart that are in need of the Chief Engineers work.  I’m sure I can add to this list- perhaps you can also (or make up your own).  It helps me though to list them out on paper…to see them more clearly, it helps me to more concretely give them over to the LORD. 

Yes, salvation comes in that moment of complete surrender to Christ as Saviour and Lord; sanctification is ongoing until that day He brings us before His throne and completes us.  Meanwhile, we are getting ready.

 May His work be so begun in our lives that others may be encouraged, and most of all- may God be glorified.  (Romans 8:28)

Blessings~

PS-  tip:  Instead of those perfume/chemical laden dryer sheets- I've been using a crumpled ball of aluminum foil (I have an electric dryer).  It works great to soften AND to rid clothes of static kling!

Bombed

Ever have a bomb dropped on you?  

Out of nowhere.  Blue sky.  BOOM! 

In my case, the shell of the bomb was an email from a confidant who was blasting me about the sin in my life (to which I'd already confessed, and have been repentive- and now am in the 're-programming stages' as the Chief Engineer re-wires me and I get used to re-routing my ways to align with His Way).

She also mentions, amoungst other things, that I need to stop hiding behind chronic illness. OUCH!

Okay- that one really stung; actually several judgements stung, but that one in particular because I'd really believed this person had understood to a goody portion of the all the challenges I have going on battling Lyme... 

I don't know about you- but I have plenty of times where I am just trying to sort out my thinking and emotions-  are those things related to the borrelia and babesia in my brain, or is it my whacked out endocrine system (what's left of it), or is it menopause, or is it plain faulty thinking, or am I thinking correctly;

am I 'just emotional', or is it my funky fluctuating hormonal system, lack of sun, isolation, pain, grief;

am I truly misunderstood, or is it my imagination?  Is my anger related to the infections, the hormones, natural response to stimuli...or am I sinful: contemptuous, rebellious, bitter...

My confidant sees me in a pit, which I would say is fairly accurate as of late- as I've gone to her to help me deal with some things, as it gets overwhelming and discouraging... I am facing some ugly stuff in my heart- never pretty to do, or easy, or quick.

In her email, she shares how she keeps throwing different things 'down to me' and she doesn't think I want to grab hold of what she is throwing to me. 

Well, I guess if it were things I could grasp, that would help.  But mostly, I told her I guess what would be good is that instead of someone throwing something 'down to me'- It would be a great help to have someone who would be willing to step into the pit with me, take hold of my hand with gentleness and strength, and walk alongside of me as we (I) make my bloody way out of the pit.

Ah, and isn't that just what Jesus did for us?   He humbled Himself, stepping out of Heaven- out of limitlessness onto earth, putting on the limitations of humanness....He encountered trials, being isolated, tempted, ridiculed, misunderstanding, rejection, pain....  My Lord knows all these things personally, and He is near now to take my hand and walk me out of the pit.

He doesn't call down to me and tell me to get all washed up first, and come up to Him...

He will admonish me-  but He does not accuse me.  And when I confess my sin, He is faithful and just to forgive me--  He will take my hand in the process of healing and renewing, lovingly and fearfully leading me in His way. 

He will help me sort all these things out.  Meanwhile, I will look for new counsel.   One who will come alongside of me, admonish gently with understanding and humility; and give me practical help and encouragement as I get off my knees and begin taking my wobbly steps on the newly lit path. 

Bombs are no fun!  But once things settle down, and accounts are taken-  I see that the Lord will use even this bomb to teach me something more about Him, about me, how I respond to others- how He wants me to respond to others. 


LORD- heal me in this-  You know my heart-of-hearts better than anyone else- You have been leading me toward healing, and I thank You that You alone are Just, Truth, and Love.  Let me learn what You would have me to learn from this- that I might better serve You.   Help me to sort out all the tangles in my heart- and direct me to good counsel as You reveal the roots of those tangles. 

Bless Your Holy Name~ 

Isaiah 1:18     IJohn 1:9   Colossians  3:16    Psalm 69:20    I Thessalonians 5:14   Hebrews  4:15-16
John 1:14,17,29

Elasticity in Captivity

Song of the week-  10,000 reasons by Matt Redman! 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jYLTn4fKYQ

This is one of those songs I keep playing over and over again!  Wish my Lyme-brain could get the lyrics all together in my mind!  

Some of you may be experiencing 'auditory hallucinations'- I do not wish that on anyone! But, if you had to have a song stuck in your mind on repeat- this would be a good one!  :)


I was reading through Psalm 126 today.  And, of course, I had to see what C.H.Spurgeon had in his commentary...  In his intro, he writes, "We see here not only that Zion abides, but that her joy returns after sorrow.  Abiding is not enough, fruitfulness is added.  The pilgrim went from blessing to blessing in their Psalmody as they proceeded on their holy way.  Happy people to whom every ascent was a song, every halt a hymn.  Here the truster becomes a sower; faith works by love, obtains a present bliss, and secures a harvest of delight."

Lord, I want to me one of those 'happy people'- or might I say, joy-filled people, who carries a song with each ascent, and at every halt a hymn. 

Verse 3 of the Psalm states "The LORD has done great things for us; We are glad.

I love the ending, 'We are glad.'....  you could almost say 'period' out loud at the end of it! 

Today I wasn't feeling especially 'happy or glad'... and in this the LORD whispered it is because I have taken my eyes off the 'great things He has done for me'. 

If I look past the struggles and afflictions of the day, using my spiritual eyes to see-  I see He is providing me with shelter, food, clothing....a computer on which to share these things... But even greater- for the Psalmist states 'great things'-  I look beyond the worldly, into the really great things-- His Presence, His grace, His mercy, His lovingkindness, salvation, eternal life, Protection, Shield, Strong Tower, Holy Spirit, His Word, Mansion in Glory, new life,....

These are Great Things! 

So, I am help captive in many ways to Lyme Disease- but even in it, with the LORD, I have an elasticity that transcends the circumstance...allows me to be in places of Song or Hymnody-  He allows me to reach beyond my circumstance, through Him, to joy.  To re-bound out of captivity...

Verses 5-6 "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.  He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

Oh for the 'joy set before us'! 


LORD, hide the Truth of Your great works- these 'Great Things' You have done- deeply in our heart... and so fill our heart- that our heart can no longer contain it...and so it becomes rain not only to our parched souls- but that it will spill out and bring rain to those parched souls  around us.  You have done Great Things for us- let us be glad!